Statistic
When I was in college, the professors constantly discussed the statistics regarding law enforcement officers, probably because most were either retired or current officers. I heard over and over again the staggering number of failed marriages, alcohol and drug dependencies, and suicides that plague the profession. I always had a hard time swallowing it. I couldn't believe that a job could shatter so many lives.
Lately, I've been seeing the other side of the coin. I'm seeing myself becoming more bitter and distrusting. I don't like to go out into places with crowds anymore. I'm always looking over my shoulder and in my rear view mirror. I've pushed friends and family away from me because even if they understand, they don't get it.
So what's left? The constant negativity that we're paid to face daily. The name calling, the dirty looks, the threatened lawsuits, the thrown punches, all coming from a seemingly "spiraling down the drain" human race - and for what? Nothing. Not a damn thing.
I can see myself being affected, drifting further towards that statistic column. I just don't know how to turn it around.
Lately, I've been seeing the other side of the coin. I'm seeing myself becoming more bitter and distrusting. I don't like to go out into places with crowds anymore. I'm always looking over my shoulder and in my rear view mirror. I've pushed friends and family away from me because even if they understand, they don't get it.
So what's left? The constant negativity that we're paid to face daily. The name calling, the dirty looks, the threatened lawsuits, the thrown punches, all coming from a seemingly "spiraling down the drain" human race - and for what? Nothing. Not a damn thing.
I can see myself being affected, drifting further towards that statistic column. I just don't know how to turn it around.
Labels: the good the bad the ugly
posted by Moe at 01:34
6 Comments:
If I may presume to offer a bit of advice sir?
Time for a change - not saying from being a cop, but within the field. Is there something besides working the road that you are interested in, or a collateral duty? Find something challenging.
We are in a tough job. And it takes a lot of compartmentalization to make it through -- otherwise we'd go nuts more often than we do.
Think about it - we are one of the only professions which define ourselves completely by what they do - and are introduced as such. No one goes to a party and gets introduced as "Bob the used car guy." And, despite all the lectures, it's tough to leave the job at work & separate things when we get home.
It's also hard when only certain people can really relate to it - why do you think so many cop wives/affairs are with nurses & CO's - because they can at least understand where we are coming from.
We can't save the world. We can't save everyone from themselves. BUT we do make a difference, even if you don't see it.
I'll use the simplest of examples - the DUI. They may beat the case. They may call you every name in the book. But, no matter what happens you kept that driver from plowing into a family of five two blocks down the road.
So, going back to my original point - find yourself a new challenge, or something to remind you of why you got into this career in the first place. Don't burn out and ruin things that matter over some mope out on the street. Think about the family, friends and strangers who need you out there as a sheepdog and even if they never say it, appreciate what you do.
Feel free to email me if you need to talk more, I'm always willing to listen and talk.
Preach on brother! I don't like going anywhere but my couch during my time off. It's just not worth dealing with the paranoia and constant watching over your shoulder.
Thankfully I have a great family that gives me something worth staying strong for.
Hang in there.
Thanks fellas.
Moe:
I've been "signal 88" for a while now, and there is a curious side to all of this.
Given the changing nature of my neighborhood, I'm STILL watching over my shoulder...and checking the doors and windows TWICE before bed.
And it's not all that EASY to up and move away...not in such economical times as these...thank the government for that clusterf$ck!
It's the nature of the beast, I guess.
Or is that the nature of THOSE BEASTS?
You never really stop "doing the job", but like Sean & ROA have stated, you MIGHT need to "get away" from the grind. Change up on the type of duty if possible.
Take up a new hobby, or revisit an old one.
The possibilities are only limited by your mind.
And we certainly NEED our minds...!
(unlike the perps that tend to lose them)
But it can (and sometimes MUST) be done...trust me.
Keep the faith, Buddy!
B.G.
Thanks Bob.
Snag a motorcycle and spend a few hours on a day off just getting lost as hell. And I'm not talking about one of those road sofas with cup holders and a stereo. I hit the road with my bare bones Sportster and spend a few hours tooling around the countryside. I put in a set of earplugs to cut the wind noise. It really gives me time to get into my head, think things out and put them into perspective.
I give my wife a lot of credit for being willing to discuss some of the worst things with me. Even though cops may understand each other better, I tend to NOT associate with many away from work. I enjoy sitting around with a few select neighbors, drink a beer now and then, and discussing the week the poor maintenance man across the street just suffered through.
It also helps to be a bit 'pathological' I guess. From day one I have viewed all the sh*t I've seen with amazement, rather than horror. "Wow, It's amazing that little hundred pound woman could chop that big dude's head clean off." At first I brought that stuff home and told the stories to my wife and she was interested in listening. Then I realized that despite her interest, I needed to keep all that stuff out of my home.
I tell my new guys my philosophy on the job: "I'm a firm believer that your not end of tour until you turn the ignition off in the driveway. After that, I don't even think about the job again until it's time to start the car and head back in." All of that has kept me somewhat sane. I'll admit I take medication now, but that's because I used to be an asshole that could flip on you in a split second. I was that way before I started the job. Thanks to modern chemistry I am a much nicer and more thoughtful person now. :) I have even had fellow officers tell me, "Dude, fifteen years ago you would have just choked that mope out and made him flop like a headless chicken." Now I make an honest effort to talk things out a bit. If that doesn't work, then I make 'em do the funky chicken. :)
The most important thing is to find something that works for you. Repressing all that crap does not work. The guys that do that usually end up dead of alcoholism or a heart attack six months after they retire. Good luck, my friend. If I can do anything for you, give me a shout. My e-mail goes straight to my Blackberry.
Post a Comment
<< Home